He says: The Proposal – Perfection

After the pleasant debacle in Timbre Old School, I was disappointed… Maybe my inner showman wanted to have the proposal on stage, where the spotlight will be on us. But I respected that Hellen was not comfortable with this Public Display of Affection (PDA). But while the night seems to be over, my mind keep on spinning to ensure that this proposal attempt will NOT end in failure. I will not take no for an answer!

OK, so after the proposal attempt in Timbre, this is what I know and have (like ingredients from a menu):

1. Proposal Ring (still in my jacket pocket)

2. 99 Roses (in the Timbre fridge)

3. Disappointed Friends (sorry but they did not manage to witness the proposal)

4. Guilty Girlfriend (Hellen seems to feel absolutely worst about herself because she did not want me to propose, effectively washing my effort down the drain)

Now I was thinking: I wanted to propose so much and I can’t think of another time that we can do that. Hellen have not seen the flowers and the ring yet, so I still have something up my sleeves. With the guilt hanging over her, Hellen just wanted some comfort from her friends and decided to stay with Katryn and Arie for the night in Arie’s aunt’s condo in Jurong Kecil. That’s when I told Arie: I want to propose tonight at the condo!

Privacy (no one will be there since it’s so late) and surprise (cause she will not be expecting me) will be present for my final effort. Hence the plan is this: Kat and Arie will sent Hellen back to her own place, get some clothes and go back to Jurong Kecil to tuck in for the night. Me on the other hand will let them have a headstart, take the flowers from the fridge and proceed to the condo at Jurong Kecil and wait for them.

When Hellen went back to her home, her roommates were waiting for the good news! As they were expecting the proposal to be done. When Hellen went in, they wanted to look at her ring… and realise I did not propose yet. I guess it makes her feel extra bad…

In the meantime, I was keeping close contact with Arie, getting status report on their location, while I got on a cab alone and went to Jurong Kecil. In the cab, on my trip down, I was accompanied by the ring, the flowers and music from the radio… In a way, it was a time of personal reflection. After so much planning and ideas and preparation, the execution was totally not down to what I expected. Maybe I did not know her enough, that’s why I decided on a public proposal instead of a private one? Maybe doing too much is not the way to go? Maybe less is more?

Well, at the end of the day, I felt comforted that I did tried my best to make her happy, even if it was not what she really wanted. A marriage is so often this… a union of 2 souls that has different expectations but willing to accept each other because of their effort to love and sacrifice.. God had taught us, brought us through different lives to bring us to this pivotal point of our life where we can be united as one… so I felt no regret.. at least it is a proposal I can remember the details of. As I write this more than 1 year after the proposal, the memory is still stuck vividly in my mind…

As the cab reaches the condo, I got the block number from Arie, got down and ran around trying to find the ‘perfect romantic proposal spot’. As I was passing by the swimming pools, I saw this oldschool bridge separating 2 pools. It was not a small kids’ bridge, but a pretty big one. I told Arie and Kat that I will be waiting at the pool and asked them to make sure Hellen passes by it. At that moment of time, it was roughly 1am, 1 Jan 2009. The pool was well-lit, and I am the solitary soul standing on the bridge, holding my secret weapon, the 99 roses which was well-hidden throughout the Timbre episode.

The moment came, when she walked towards the pool and saw me, with the roses, on the bridge, by the pool. No music, nobody else, a moment just for me and her. She was wearing the t-shirt and shorts she normally wears for sleeping… the most natural Hellen you can ever see. Kneeling down, I uttered the words, “Will you marry me?”, something that I have been dying to say for the whole night. Finally the tears came, I put the ring through her left hand’s fourth finger as she says ‘YES’!

What a night of  turmoil… I had a plan, threw it out the window, sang in Timbre, came up with an impromptu plan, executed it and had a successful proposal. There is no pictures for this part, as it is an entirely private moment for us both.

Last words.. in a wonderful blissful marriage, a singular point such as a perfect proposal or a perfect wedding is never the defining point, but the enduring love a couple has for each other is the defining point. This proposal will always stick in my mind as the launching pad of my impending marriage, as the day where I asked for a lovely lady’s hand in marriage, and succeeded.  

Countdown to Wedding Day (19-06-10): 154 days

He says: The Proposal – Performance

I decided it is time to ‘Just Do It’! I was invited by Pam & Fatt on stage, and here it all begins…

After nerve-wrecking minutes, I was introduced on stage by Pam & Fatt for my 'Showtime'!

Hellen is sitting down there with her best friend Kat.. waiting for me to make a fool of myself yet again...

I gave my speech... I totally forgot what I said, but it must have been touching.. I guess..

I think she's touched, not by the outcome, but at least by the effort I think.

For the first time, when I look into your eyes..

Although mine is not the best singing voice, at the moment, it was the most heartfelt.

... I tried my best to look the part and sound the part.

We had our first dance, as Pam & Fatt sang 'Kiss Me'. Nice!

It was a wonderful moment... and I am glad we captured it.

It was a thank you... but note, I did not propose through the whole incident.. yet...

After this long-winded picture marathon, I have yet to say the words ‘Will you marry me?’ Cause she did not want me to propose in public.

All is not lost though, the night is not over yet, and I am going to propose in a way she did not expect. Stay tuned for the finale!

Countdown to Wedding Day (19-06-10): 235 days

He says: The Proposal – Panic!

So the fateful day came, 31 Dec 2008. I have made all my preparation ready, all our friends are in town and in the know. It is time to execute the plan!

We all met up and proceeded to Timbre, Old School. Earlier in the day, me and Kevin went up to Timbre to place the flowers I bought for the occasion too. I got 99 roses and placed it in the Timbre fridge. It was huge (the flowers)…

[Tip for Proposal #1 - Big Flowers! It dazzles the mind, distracts the gal, makes the gal too guilty to say no... Big flowers FTW!]

Anyways, the day did not start well. When we were all gathered around Plaza Singapura, we went up. Being the cheapskate I was, I thought is was frugal to just walk up. Eh… the flight of stairs was ultra long, and frankly, it was quite a workout…

[Tip for Proposal #2 - Don't Be Stingy! How many times are you going to propose in your life??!! Hopefully, once. So spare no expenses, make it memorable. Money = Memories, for everything else, there's Mastercard..]

[Tip for Proposal #3 - Keep Fit! You never know when your body will be put to the test in a proposal. I did not realise the long flight of steps! Never good to say "*Pant pant*... will you... *wheezeee* marry *pant* me??]

When we got there, it wasn’t time for Pam & Fatt’s gig yet. So we ordered some drinks and food.

[Tip for Proposal #4 - Time Schedule! Make sure you are not too early for the proposal. If you take too long to reach the moment, suspicions and awkward silence sets in.. which in a sense of the word means.. it's awkward]

No more long and corny texts. I am going to post the pictures from the day and briefly mention what went on. This is going to be a long one…

So we are in Timbre waiting for the 'moment', and these are my childhood friends and their galfriends.

Passing time as we wait on. Mingling around...

A rare pic of the 3 guys that grew up with me: JH+Nah+Ni!

The gig is up, here is Fatt getting ready for the performance.

With Ari now, making sure everything is ok.

My other good friends, and the setting we are in, Timbre.

Final confirmation of what's happening.. although I think something is going to go wrong very soon...

Hellen tells me she suspects a proposal and she is very uncomfortable...

I assured her I was not going to propose... as she did not want to be pressured into it... oh well..

Apologies to the rest of the guys, guess the proposal is indeed off..

But I do not want to waste this opportunity.. I decided the show must go on!

Countdown to Wedding Day (19-06-10): 252 days

He says: The Proposal – Preparation (Timbre & the Song)

2 months before New Year Day 2009, I began sourcing for the place. As written in an earlier post, I went to Jazz@South Bridge first, but due to the performances on countdown day, I got no choice but to find another alternative. After much consideration, I decided on Timbre@Old School, which is at Mount Sophia.

With the focus on pure acoustic music, Timbre@Old School is romantic, soothing, music for the soul… haha.. in essence great for a proposal. So after some email correspondence with the management, we arranged for a time to practice for the proposal. Anyways, I did not remember the actual day of the practice, it was either one or 2 months before the proposal, falling somewhere in the Oct / Nov 2008 time.  I went with 2 of my bros, Kev and YC, cause it feels really odd if I go alone… and I am shy (cue vomiting motion)…

Pam and Fatt are really nice people! Pam has that naturally powerful voice that you hear from Idol contestants. Fatt is a ultra-talented musician and a wiz at the guitar. Although it is an acoustic set, for some songs, he will be playing the percussionist role using his feet! I am not sure what he uses, but it sounds real cool. He can sing very well too!

I have planned 2 songs: Always Be My Baby (David Cook version) and For the First Time by Kenny Loggins (Hellen’s favouritest song from the movie One Fine Day) –

I planned to only sing the chorus of the first song, and the whole of the second song… hahah… it was not to be on the actual day though…

Anyways, the very nice Pam and Fatt was sharing their pizza with me during their first gig interval. Pam was especially excited since it is her first time doing a proposal in Timbre, so she was encouraging and assuring all at the same time. I was amazed too that both Pam and Fatt are married, not to each other though. Maybe it is due to my inner prejudice that arty-farty people are loners… They told me to enjoy my food and drinks and wait for the second gig interval to do some practice… haha…

OK, so while we were waiting for the practice, we enjoyed the music, drinks and atmosphere. I still remembered some poor guy who dedicated a song to a total stranger at another table, the funny thing was that as Pam was reading the dedication, the lady pointed at her ring! Talk about a total bummer.

Finally the second session is over and it’s my turn to shine (or flop depending on the way you see it)! YC took my practice videos through his handphone so pardon me for the quality. Nonetheless, it is pretty cool and a great memory. Thanks to my bros for accompanying me on that day..

 

Say ‘Yeah!’

 Countdown to Wedding Day (19-06-10): 264 days

He says: The Proposal – Preparation (The Ring & The Lie)

Now that my preliminary planned outline is done, time to put all the pieces into place.

The most important singular object of a proposal is none other than the proposal ring! At the period of time before my proposal, my other 2 friends (Junhong and Nah) were looking for their respective rings to propose to their girlfriends too. A common topic among us will be what ring we are getting.

The common source we used was this website: ProposalRing.com.

I am an engineer, so I want value for money with a heavy emphasis on substance, so I studied the website to know what is the important things we need to look out for. Of course the 4Cs came into play: Cut, Clarify, Carat and Colour. I am not going into the technicalities, as you can find all that from the website, but here are my 2 cents (or nuggets of knowledge from experience):

1. Although cut is the most important aspect of the diamond, it also causes the greatest discrepancy in the cost of the ring. Always weigh your own finances against the need to get a premium cut. Premium cut may be very good, but look at your own finances first. Never break your bank!

2. I think most girls don’t know the difference in the 4Cs (I am not talking about Hellen!), sometimes a simple gesture of finding a ring and presenting is more touching and important than the quality of the ring itself. Personally I put Carat > Cut.

This one Wednesday, I was in the gym. California Fitness Bugis. I have just researched on the ring info and I was excited. Initially I was intending to wait for some warehouse sale to purchase the ring. But the eagerness of getting a ring overcame me. I kept thinking about the ring as I was running… and buay tahan! I stopped and went down to Bugis Junction and started shopping around. I wasn’t planning on getting the ring that quickly, but I was asking in the various shops, I stumbled upon this particular ring in Soo Kee which had the specs I wanted. After a quick call to several friends, I bought the ring on the spot! What a gym session this turned out to be…

I bought the ring, now comes another hard part. I conspired with Katryn and Ari, deciding on which is the best excuse for them to come down to Singapore in such a time, without making Hellen suspicious. So we cooked up a tale about Kat needing to come down to Singapore to take some vaccination (they are based in Jakarta by the way).

Now that the ring and story is complete. My next step is to look for the location…

Countdown to Wedding Day (19-06-10): 267 days

He says: The Proposal – Plan

OK, so I told Hellen I won’t propose in 2008…. Haha, it was cruel… But in a way I assured her that I will propose..

So it is time to plan:

Keys to proposal planning: Time, venue, people, memories, ring, process!

Time – 1 Jan 2009, 12 midnight

[Why? Because I felt that since I told her I won't propose in 2008, I want to also show her that I can't wait to marry her. So what better time to propose than the first moment of 2009, right after the countdown]

Place – Timbre, Old School

[We don't really have a memorable place together... but I was trying to find a romantic location, with nice music. My initial first choice was the Jazz pub, Jazz@SouthBridge, but on countdown night, there was a performance by some international artiste and I can't propose on that day, according to the management. Got to throw that idea aside, and Timbre came into my mind next. Out of all the Timbre location, Mount Sophia Old School is the one with the old building, quiet, serene, school-like atmosphere.  In addition, the music for Old School is not loud and brash, but instead acoustic, sentimental fares. This seems like what I want]

People – Our Best Friends, Katryn, Arie, Junhong, Nah, Ni

[I planned to have my best friends (Junhong, Nah, Ni) and her best friends, Katryn and Arie to be in town for the proposal as well. I felt that it is important for our friends to share in this happy occasion. I did talk to Katryn before about this proposal, and she cooked up a tale that she needs to be in town for some medical checkup. Thank God they were consulted as they played a huge part in the proposal. By the way, my childhood friends and some of my best friends were told to come to.]

Memories – Videos and Photos – Eunice’s Help!

[I planned to have the whole process video-taped down and for the photos to be taken as well. I want it to be something we can really remember even as we grow old]

Ring – Proposal Ring

[Another essential object in the whole proposal was the ring. After consultation with Junhong and Dex and other people's 2 cents, I decided on a ring finally... More on that later!]

Process – The Master Plan

[One of the main issue that decided my plan was whether Hellen liked a public or private proposal. Some feel that a public proposal is pressurizing while others love the attention of a public proposal. I 'thought' that Hellen will love a public proposal, so here's my plan in a nutshell: Invite our best friends for a night out at Timbre for the 2009 New Year Countdown. After countdown, I will get on stage to sing a song for Hellen. Then I will give a speech, take out the ring and flowers, and pop the all-important question! She will say yes, friends and strangers will cheer, memories will be kept and everybody goes home happy!]

The only thing is: things did not go as planned AT ALL!!!!

By the way, this was not the proposal photo! How did it end up here?

This was NOT the proposal photo!

Next up: the Preparation!

Countdown to Wedding Day (19-06-10): 272 days

He says: The Proposal – Prologue

Let's get higher!

So here I begin my attempt at a short story.. a true real-life account of how a failed proposal attempt turned alright at the end..

And it began like this:

A typical Singaporean guy’s proposal goes like this: “Hey dear, you know hor… I just checked out the HDB website and there is these flats being built near Punggol. I think we should ballot for it. It will be a great idea if we can get it.”

A typical Singaporean gal’s response goes like this: “OK, I think it is good. Quite near our parents, easy for them to help out in taking care of our baby. As long as you like it ba. You do the admin stuff ok?”

Here’s what the guy thinks in his heart: “Cool! Steady!~~ I knew it was going to be easy. We are together for so long liao… no way she will say no. Testing water complete.. let’s just ballot, get the flat, get married and make some babies.. yoohoo!!”

Here’s what the gal thinks in her heart: “Damn.. too late… should  have thought properly… should not have said yes so soon… this is so Singaporean, and not romantic at all! HDB is not equal to I want to marry you! But I have already said yes… don’t know whether this blockhead will just forget about THE PROPOSAL!!!”

Now the problem is this… I am a typical Singaporean guy, and she is not a typical Singaporean gal. Hellen is more of an idealistic Indonesian gal.

While we have been together for less than 2 years, I was sure I am going to marry Hellen. Out of all the necessities in life, I know that housing is the most time-consuming and tedious item to get done. So like any typical Singaporean lions, I was contemplating about the house we are getting. Getting a house became a common topic, especially if I was talking with some pals who are at the same stage of their life, especially Junhong and Nah. Checking out the HDB website became a daily occurrence and we keep looking for the ideal spot. As with most couples our age, the most ‘promising’ locale in Singapore lies in the Northeast, namely Punggol. I have a special affinity for any locations near the MRT, as I have been living near the MRT stations all my life (first Redhill, then Tiong Bahru). So even though Punggol seems far, Punggol Sapphire is just beside the MRT and seems like a good place.

My future humble abode!... I mean one of the flat is...

So I told her that I was looking for flats and we shall ballot one together. She said Yes!.. without thinking of it much… At the time she said yes, she did not realize… that for a typical Singaporean couple, this could already mean a proposal. So as we efficiently got the queue number and plan to select the flat… she began to realize… from her friends… that she may be walking into a trap! She started to realize that a lot of guys use this as a way to propose… and by getting the house with me.. she is in a way agreeing to marry me. Her dreams of a perfect proposal started tumbling down! What??? This stupid balloting thing is the proposal??? That’s it?? Where’s my romantic scenario???

She became real worried and talk to me about it one day. She was afraid I was not going to propose… well the fact is this:

I may LOOKED TALKED ACT like a typical Singaporean, but I will NOT propose like a typical Singaporean.

All these happened in mid 2008 and I promised her I will not propose to her in 2008. So with that my mind start churning, it is time to plan. Next up… the plan!

Countdown to Wedding Day (19-06-10): 278 days